Cullen blogs: Alice
by Nicolehalescuito
Summary: This is a series, by me, Didyme the happy one and Alicecullenrocks888 this is Alice's blog, for the others, go find Alicecullenrocks888 she'll be doing Carlisle Jasper Emmett and Bella. And I will be doing the rest of the Cullens
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey, I was bored, so I came up with this random idea. It is part of the series I am doing with alicecullenrocks888, which is the Cullen blogging series. I will be writing Alice, Edward, Rosalie, Esme, and she'll be doing Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle, Bella. **

**Disclaimer: None of the below content is true. I don't own any of the Cullens, the twilight franchise, or the blogger site. **

**Warning! Warning! The following content was PRIVATE, and set so only the members of the Cullen family could read it. However, the writer managed to get her hands on it and decided to unleash it to the world! **

**Daily blog of Alice Cullen**

Subject: HI

Hi world!

Sooo, this is my first post on my new blog! Yipee!

Okay so, I am supposed to write what happened today and all that, and my feelings on it and yadda yadda yadda.

At least that's what Carlisle says. Yup, he is the one who got the whole family into this. Apparently, it's some sort of family bonding thingy, to let us understand each other or something. Expect you know, of voicing it out, he lets us type it out cause he thinks it'll be easier for us to like talk about our real feelings.

Okay so what happened today was…

I was really excited, because there was this really fabulous sale at the mall, and I went to the mall at 5'oclock in the morning. Huh, I guess I forgot humans needed to sleep…

The security guard came and nearly arrested me, what with all the "attempted break in" and the "trespassing" and what not. So I screamed at him that I was THE ALICE CULLEN, and he better let me in the mall right this INSTANT.

Of course, he paged his supervisor, Larry, who came down.

I know Larry. He is a nice guy. If you are wondering why I know him, it's because Emmett got thrown out of the mall so many times that we're on a first name basis.

And he also knows me because I go to the mall EVERY SINGLE DAY. It's like my second home. I practically own the mall. Every single salesperson knows me by name, too.

So of course, he apologized profusely, scolded the idiot who didn't let me in, and opened the doors of the mall.

They switched on all the lights, and all the salespeople opened up their shops early, just for me.

And I spent the next 5 hours shopping.

By the time I finished, it was 10. I had to call Jasper to come and pick me up because I had too many bags, and the Porsche won't fit them all in.

When I got home, Bella had came over already, so I dragged her to play Bella Barbie.

It was fun!

She looked so pretty when I was done. She didn't thank me of course, but she will one day.

Then stupid Eddie had to interrupt the makeover and snatch Bella away, just so he could get her to listen to the old, boring tunes he played on his dumb piano.

Yawn. Eddie can be soo boring sometimes. What am I saying? I mean ALL THE TIME.

So after that, I went to unpack all my stuff from the mall and put them into the wardrobe. That alone took an hour, because I need to categorize my clothes in colour, brand, design and fabric.

I played WII super smash bros with Emmett and I beat him, 23 games out of 45. HA!

I didn't even need to look into the future, Emmett is soo predictable.

Edward went to bring Bella back to her house, Rosalie and me went online shopping.

Carlisle came home. He lectured me. Did I mention I maxed out my cards? Again? Oh, must've slipped my mind…

JASPER, LEND ME YOUR CARDS!

And Blah Blah Blah. Esme got mad at Emmett and Rose for breaking yet another bed, and Jasper and Emmett wrestled again, and broke another one of Esme's favourite vases.

And that is why Emmett is locked outside in the garden.

Okay, so I guess I'm done.

Bye!

Alice

* * *

Comment by JASPER HALE, 8.53 p.m.

Uh, Alice, I don't think the whole world can read this, after all, Carlisle had all our blogs set to private mode right?

* * *

Comment by ALICE CULLEN, 8.56 p.m.

Oh yeah, DAMN YOU CARLISLE!

* * *

Comment by CARLISLE CULLEN, 9.00 p.m.

Watch your language, young lady

* * *

Comment by ALICE CULLEN, 9.10 p.m.

But daddy! I was just doing what you wanted me to! Express my real feelings!

* * *

Comment by CARLISLE CULLEN, 9.11p.m.

Humph…

* * *

Comment by EMMETT CULLEN, 9.15p.m.

Actually, Carly, you can't be damned, you already are!

* * *

Comment by CARLISLE CULLEN, 9.20p.m.

You are grounded, Emmett.

And don't call me Carly.

* * *

Comment by EDWARD CULLEN, 9,32p.m.

MY MUSIC IS BEAUIFUL, RIGHT BELLA?

* * *

Comment by BELLA SWAN, 9.45p.m.

-no comment-


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: HEYY**

**Aby (alicecullenrocks888), my co-series writer person, has published emmett's ver, Cullen Blogs: Emmett. SO go check that out., I promise its superr funny. **

**and REVIEW, or no more nice updates like this**

**Daily blog of Alice Cullen**

Subject: The water heater

Today, the water heater in the house broke. Well, it broke eons ago, but no one noticed because we don't use it. Esme only found out today because she was cleaning the basement, and saw it rusted.

That doesn't really matter, does it?

I mean we are all VAMPIRES, so we don't need hot water to bathe, or shower.

But Rosalie started panicking.

Rosalie: OHMYGAWD! THE WATER HEATER IS BROKEN! HOW AM I TO LOOK BEAUTIFUL NOW? WHAT IF MY FRIENDS COME OVER, AND WE DON'T HAVE A WORKING WATER HEATER? THEY'LL THINK WE ARE POOR!

Edward: Rosalie. Number one, you don't even need a water heater. You shower with cold water. Secondly, you don't have any friends. Thirdly, even if you did, they wouldn't come to your house to check whether your water heater is working.

Rosalie: EDWARD, YOU RUIN EVERYTHING! I HATE THIS FAMILY!

Rosalie stormed off, and slammed her bedroom door.

Carlisle decided to get the water heater fixed, and went to call the repair man.

However Emmett stopped him, and being the cocky idiot he is, attempted to fix the water heater.

Now, Emmett is no Bob the builder, so…

CRASH! The water heater fell through the floorboards, leaving a massive hole in the floor.

Apparently he unscrewed it a _little_ too much.

So now we have no water heater, and a hole in the floorboards.

Esme threw a fit of course, and made Emmett pay for all the damages. Also he was banned from video games, wal-mart, and Rosalie. Who was too busy sulking to care.

I couldn't go shopping today, because I maxed out my cards, and Carlisle forbade everyone in the family from lending me their cards…

So I went online, and found out there is such a thing as _dress up games._ That sounds good, but the clothes are tasteless and cheap, the dolls stupid. The only thing good is that they don't squirm like Bella does. Sigh. If only I could convince prada to make a dress up game. They might do it, if I call in enough favours.

I was getting REALLY REALLY bored by now, so I lugged out my karaoke machine and me, Emmett and Jasper decided to sing.

However after the 79th verse of 99 bottles of beer on the wall, Edward came down to yell at us.

Eddie's pissed cause Charlie grounded Bella and now he's all alone.

Boohoo.

Gosh, my brother is such a party pooper.

And then, Rosalie came out of her room to yell at _him _for yelling at Emmett.

So it became a full scale fight, with them baring their fangs and all that.

Emmett and Jasper started making bets on who would pounce first.

However Esme stepped in and pulled them away from each other.

She gave them each "time outs".

Emmett thought it'd be funny to give Edward a dunce hat to wear while he sat in the corner.

Not the best idea of course, since Edward took the hat, and threw it at Emmett. Emmett dodged it, and it bounced off the wall. Now there is a dent in the wall, and Esme is screaming her head off. And Jasper is fueling her anger, laughing evily.

It was funny, yes, and I wasn't bored anymore. But I did think he went a little too far when Esme started chasing Edward and Emmett.

So now the boys are in canda. They refuse to come back, and are going to spend some time there.

Ciao!

Alice

* * *

Comment by ESME CULLEN, 3.55p.m.

YOU DID THAT JASPER? YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE, JASPER WHITLOCK HALE CULLEN!

* * *

Comment by JASPER HALE, 4.05p.m.

Uh oh. Gotta run. Canda isn't such a bad idea after all


End file.
